A Reflection of October

I'm about 8 days late to write this, but I feel like I should, because a lot has happened in October. I've felt a lot of emotions and learned a lot. One thing that impacted me this month was the release of Taylor Swift's 5th studio album 1989. There's been a lot of hype around this album, and in my opinion, it's worth all of it. That album didn't sell over a million copies in it's first week for no reason. "New Romantics" is a personal favourite to dance to, but I did have a little sob at "You R In Love". As usual it's as if I'd told Taylor all my problems and secrets and turned them into songs. Not only did it affect my bus journey every day by giving me something new and decent to listen to, it made me think about how Taylor's style has changed over the years. Her music is completely different now. She's gone from a heartbroken young girl with long ringlets and an acoustic guitar to a strong, confident lady with a chic bob and a diamante microphone. Yet somehow, she's managed to keep the same heartfelt messages in every song she writes. The vulnerability in her lyrics is what drew me to her in the first place, and I am so glad she's never lost it. It got me thinking about how I've changed. I'm a different person to who I was 5 years ago, 3 years ago and even a year ago. But I'm still me, I just express me in different ways now.

College work has really stressed me out this month. I find myself thinking every day, "can I really make it through two years of this? Am I good enough?" and I am trying to train myself believe that yes, I can. We all go through hard times but I know I can do it, I've just got to keep going. It's easier said than done but I am tired of not believing in myself.

Lots of new people have come into my life recently, and I've found myself in a very difficult position with some of them. I feel like I have to make a choice between people, and the only way I can do that is to follow my heart. I know that is soooooooo cheesy but I honestly believe that is the best way to make decisions! 

Thank you October, you've made me think this month. I have a feeling it's about to get even harder.